or as i like to affectionately call it, CHRISTMAS!!!

hope you all have a wonderful holiday!!

hope you get a visit from Nonspecific Holiday Figure or as i like to affectionately call him, SANTA CLAUS!!

Now i will spin you a tale of Christmas joy

Santa has always been part of Christmas...even tho i don't believe in him anymore...i never really did i guess, since i was always so confused about how he got into my house (which also freaked me out...i mean, he sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake...thats pretty creepy since he is an old man and all....). Anyways, we used to live in an old victorian house, and our chimney went straight to the woodstove in the basement which, during the winter time, was always a blazin' with fire. So i was always confused about how Santa could get down our chimney and not get burned to a fat, jolly crisp...my dad would say he could do it cause he is magic, but i was never really sure...however, one year i did wonder if there was a possiblity a fat, obscenely old, overly jolly man could live up in the North Pole in a magic workshop (which he prolly has never paid taxes on by the way...) full of elves and flies around in a sleigh pulled by raindeer. it was started by my dad finding "raindeer poop" on our roof...however, i now wonder if he just tossed some dog poop up there (since we did have a dog back then, and still do now...) and then called everyone outside in the freezing cold with nothing but their PJs on, claiming raindeer pooped on our roof. Ahhh, the good old days of childhood...

by the way...how does Santa eat...surely he doesnt spend his time eating cookies and drinking eggnog, cuz after a while those cookies would make him seriously obese and i dont wanna santa drunk on eggnog behind the reins of a sleigh pulled by radioactive (hey, rudolf's nose glows ok...)flying raindeer. Maybe he sends a troop of elves out to hunt whatever lives in the North Pole...

well, happy holidays people!!